Love the argument you've laid out here! I remember once in my first job after college, I invited an acquaintance to drinks after work -- except, I hadn't meant to invite her! I'd meant to invite a friend with almost the exact same name. I'd confused the two and messaged the wrong one: "you, me, catch up drinks on Tuesday!" The acquaintance was completely taken aback by my invitation but also very happy with how bold I was at extending friendship. We became instantly closer than we would have otherwise. Barring my mistake, I probably would have referred to her as a "friend of a friend" at parties.
Well said! I've been pondering some ancient views on friendship, and for instance the Stoics say that it's good to have a lot of friends. I dislike the modern cant often told to kids - 'Choose your friends carefully!' - because nobody, least of all kids, is in a position to be choosy at all: they, and we, need friends, and the kid who's choosy is likely to finish up with none.
We do have the word "bestie" as a one-word version of "close friend." That would fit the "time of need" kind of friend. I do consider people I've never met except on FB real friends--not all of them, but enough. I'd never expect them to come from Florida to Seattle to help me move furniture--but we understand each other, sympathize truly with their troubles, and rejoice in their positives.
Love the argument you've laid out here! I remember once in my first job after college, I invited an acquaintance to drinks after work -- except, I hadn't meant to invite her! I'd meant to invite a friend with almost the exact same name. I'd confused the two and messaged the wrong one: "you, me, catch up drinks on Tuesday!" The acquaintance was completely taken aback by my invitation but also very happy with how bold I was at extending friendship. We became instantly closer than we would have otherwise. Barring my mistake, I probably would have referred to her as a "friend of a friend" at parties.
Well said! I've been pondering some ancient views on friendship, and for instance the Stoics say that it's good to have a lot of friends. I dislike the modern cant often told to kids - 'Choose your friends carefully!' - because nobody, least of all kids, is in a position to be choosy at all: they, and we, need friends, and the kid who's choosy is likely to finish up with none.
Great points, friend! 🙃😁
Agreed, calling someone a friend is one of those self-fulfilling statements. I do way too little of this, and should be more generous about it.
We do have the word "bestie" as a one-word version of "close friend." That would fit the "time of need" kind of friend. I do consider people I've never met except on FB real friends--not all of them, but enough. I'd never expect them to come from Florida to Seattle to help me move furniture--but we understand each other, sympathize truly with their troubles, and rejoice in their positives.